Uncategorized Archives - Somatic Sex and Intimacy Coach Brisbane

Season of the Dark Erotic

by Susan Stark | Jul 10, 2025 | Somatic Sex & Intimacy, Uncategorized

I am in between at the moment.

In between what I know to be true and what is emerging.

I am living in the liminal space that exists between dissolution and becoming.

A place where ground falls away and I feel the sweeping, ravishing winds of change.

They are untamed and bring a necessary dissolution of wild fire intensity.

It is a burning of sorts.

One that culls the dead wood making space for the new growth at the change of season.

It is dark here, and shadowy.

Uncomfortable and demanding.

There is reckoning and rupture.

And yet, I intentionally, willingly surrender myself and go.

I have made many such descents in my life, however this one has it own particular flavour.

A Personal Love Story

by Susan Stark | May 11, 2023 | Somatic Sex & Intimacy, Uncategorized

Our love affairs are mostly with others.
They are often fuelled by passion, desire and intrigue.
We long to be together.
To explore, discover and embellish pleasure.
The chemistry of new love is compelling, and irresistibly intoxicating.
Many of us spend a life time trying to rekindle it or find it anew.
If we stay long enough in these love affairs, with intentionality and skill, we deepen, evolve and find erotic maturity.
It is rich and wonder-full.

Reclaiming Sex – Where to begin

by Susan Stark | Apr 28, 2022 | Somatic Sex & Intimacy, Uncategorized

Our sexuality is an essential part of our wellbeing, creativity and vitality.I believe it is the most beautiful and wonder-full part of our humanness.Individually and together.Sadly however, for many this aliveness is not available to the fullness of its potential due...

Podcast

by Susan Stark | Mar 25, 2021 | Uncategorized

Embrace: A Podcast for Survivors by Survivors about Sex and Intimacy For several years I was employed by the Brisbane Rape and Incest Survivors Support Centre(BRISSC) as a Sexual Assault Worker offering counselling, support and advocacy to survivors ofsexual violence....

Coming Soon

by Susan Stark | Aug 3, 2020 | Uncategorized

Coming...

<br>Recent Posts

Season of the Dark Erotic
I am in between at the moment. In between what I know to be true and what is emerging. I am living in the liminal space that exists between dissolution and becoming. A place where ground falls away and I feel the sweeping, ravishing winds of change. They are untamed and bring a necessary dissolution of wild fire intensity. It is a burning of sorts. One that culls the dead wood making space for the new growth at the change of season. It is dark here, and shadowy. Uncomfortable and demanding. There is reckoning and rupture. And yet, I intentionally, willingly surrender myself and go. I have made many such descents in my life, however this one has it own particular flavour.
Cyclones and consent – what they have in common!
How sex and intimacy with others can evoke the same flavour of unknown, anticipation and need to find solid ground. Erotic energy is like the wind. It can blow fast and hard, exciting us with the power of pleasure. It can whip us into a frenzy of ecstasy and then whisper gently and softly on our cheek. It can lift our feet off the ground and evoke anxiety and fear. It can invite us into the unknown realms of discovery and exploration. What do we anchor to in these experiences? How do we prepare and contain what is possibly to come? How do we ensure our house is in order and we are ready? My suggestion...is to learn and embodied the essential skills of authentic consent.
Essentials for living an erotically empowered life
In a world where pleasure is often shrouded in confusion and silence, the journey towards an erotically empowered life invites us to reclaim our bodies and desires with compassion and courage. Every person's path is unique, woven from the threads of personal experience and societal narratives that have shaped our understanding of intimacy. By embracing curiosity as our guiding star, we can gently peel away layers of shame and misconception, allowing ourselves to explore the rich tapestry of connection that breathes life into our relationships. Here, we nurture a space where conversations flourish, learning becomes a joyful exploration, and our inherent capacity for pleasure is not only recognised but celebrated, revitalising our essence and enriching our shared humanity.
The challenge of saying “no” in intimate relationships…my learning laid bare!
Most recently I am noticing how difficult it can still be for me to say “no” to another person. To turn down their offer, however wonderful it might all sound. To say no thanks, to their desires and invitations, often knowing that my response will most likely land hard. To be with another in their experience of disappointment, without rescuing or minimising what it evokes in each of us. To meet their expectation with softness and care, while honouring the limits I feel within myself. This is a practice I have explored for many years, and the deeper I go the more edges I find. At times I feel skilled and embodied in my awareness. I can stay in my lane and not fall on the trip wires hidden beneath the surface of my knowing. I can say no, without needing to puff myself up in a masquerade of bigness. I can decline without blowing my discomfort through another. Other times, the “no” still sticks in my throat and feels almost impossible to say.
Trauma Leaves its Mark on us All
Our experiences of trauma shapes our nervous systems and impacts how we navigate sex and intimacy. Read how decades of working as a sexual trauma counsellor has left its mark on me.