My Blog

When sex is challenging…what do I do?

Chris had been seeing a talk therapist for a few sessions.  It was useful, but not much was changing in the bedroom.  Chris has been married for 29 years and has two children.  He and his partner got along ok, except when it came to sex.  “My sex life is dying and I really don’t know what to do”,...

read more

Beside my bed…

Beside my Bed… I am a passionate and creative human being. I love to write and draw. I love poetry and reading. I love to play. The items on my beside testify what delights capture my attention most in each moment. A conglomeration of meaningful treasures, books, oils and who knows what, land...

read more
FEAST is a Lasagne – The Gift of Shared Humanity

FEAST is a Lasagne – The Gift of Shared Humanity

At times of need, valued friends of my extended family bring us Lasagne.
It is a gesture of care and love and is by no means an ordinary meal.
They are Italian and the gift of this meal is imbued with the flavours and traditions of generations.
In every bite is deep nourishment that sinks into the echoes of our grateful bellies.
The aroma alone, fills us with anticipation and opens our hearts with gratitude.
You see, making this Lasagne is an art.
An act of love, care and generosity.
It symbolises community and support through food and time spent.
A gesture offered in the spirit of shared experiences of grief, sadness and joy.

read more
Cultivating Curiosity – the value of not knowing

Cultivating Curiosity – the value of not knowing

“Please, help me become the best lover possible…”
This is a common request I hear in a variety of forms from many of my clients.
Some are despairing after years of trying.
Some feel broken and frustrated.
Others are simply stuck.
But one thing that serves all of them well, regardless of what brought them to here, is to cultivate a spirit of curiosity and allow it to be their guide.
Curiosity is one of our greatest allies and an essential ingredient, on our journey to sexual confidence.

read more
Where to begin – Building a life time of deep pleasure

Where to begin – Building a life time of deep pleasure

Rainforests don’t grow from the canopy down.
They grow from the rich fertile soil, upwards.
They take many years to reach their fullness in which every plant and organism matters to the health and sustenance of the whole.
Every tiny seed, creature and plant supports and nourishes the other.
It is a complete ecosystem within itself, that relies primarily on the health and holding of the soil on which it has grown.
Cultivating our erotic health, intelligence and capacity requires the same wisdom.

read more
A Personal Love Story

A Personal Love Story

Our love affairs are mostly with others.
They are often fuelled by passion, desire and intrigue.
We long to be together.
To explore, discover and embellish pleasure.
The chemistry of new love is compelling, and irresistibly intoxicating.
Many of us spend a life time trying to rekindle it or find it anew.
If we stay long enough in these love affairs, with intentionality and skill, we deepen, evolve and find erotic maturity.
It is rich and wonder-full.

read more
Four Words that describe exactly what a I do as a Sex Coach!

Four Words that describe exactly what a I do as a Sex Coach!

If I was to describe what I do in as few words as possible, it would be this.
I help people feel.
Yes, decades of diving into trainings, personal development and practice, summed up in a few little words.
At its essence however, pure and simple, this is what I do.
I help people feel.
Whether it’s building an ability to get out of their heads and present to the sensations of their bodies.
Or gently, slowly digesting the stuckness and survival patterns created by trauma.
Or cultivating a bandwidth to fully bear pleasure without shutting down or relying on another.
At its core, it is all about our ability to slow down, notice and feel.

read more
Want mind blowing sex…. my number one tip of where to begin

Want mind blowing sex…. my number one tip of where to begin

Many people, want mind blowing sex.
They want sex that opens and expands their hearts and pleasure, beyond what they already know is possible.
They want aliveness and vibrancy that ripples and resonates in their bodies for days, months, years even.
They want deep passion, adventure and wonder-full discovery.
They want to feel lovingly embraced, connected and explored by those they love.
I get it.
I want that too!
Every last bit.
And more.
Why not?
Why shouldn’t we have that?
Sexual pleasure is one of the most amazing gifts of being human.
Our bodies are made for it.
Both alone and with others.
Problem is.…we are going about it in the wrong way.

read more
How to have more pleasure

How to have more pleasure

Many of our struggles with things like sex and relationships stem from a belief and conditioning that there is right way to experience and define them.

We get unconsciously attached to things like sexual scripts and relationship escalators, habituated to believe that these are the only pathways to a life time of perpetual pleasure, intimacy and connection.

read more
Reclaiming Desire…. when attraction wanes

Reclaiming Desire…. when attraction wanes

One of the most challenging and common things I notice in my own relating and that of the people I work with, is how desire changes and often dissipates over time.
Most people in long-term relationships experience staleness and disconnect at some point in time.
It is almost inevitable and can make or break us.

Let me tell you how I have found my way back to the depths of desire in my 30 year relationship.

read more
Three tips to make self pleasure great!

Three tips to make self pleasure great!

May is Masturbation Month, believe it or not, and for many people across the globe, a time to invest in cultivating their sexual skills and erotic awareness through self-pleasure. Over the month of May I have been running my annual 31-day self-pleasure challenge with a group of enthusiastic erotic...

read more
Reclaiming Sex – Where to begin

Reclaiming Sex – Where to begin

Our sexuality is an essential part of our wellbeing, creativity and vitality.I believe it is the most beautiful and wonder-full part of our humanness.Individually and together.Sadly however, for many this aliveness is not available to the fullness of its potential due to anerosion of our basic...

read more
The Elusive G-Spot – Myth or Truth?

The Elusive G-Spot – Myth or Truth?

Truth is a “spot” doesn’t really exist.It is more like a zone and is really not a separate, stand-alone part of our anatomy.The urethral sponge is located on the roof or upper side of the vaginal canal and its size andshape is as unique as the people who own one.For some people it is a very small...

read more
Desire and the creative liberation of Yes!

Desire and the creative liberation of Yes!

“In order to grow, we need to find our Yes.Yes, to the challenge.Yes, to the discomfort.Yes, to the uncertainty.Great liberation comes in saying Yes to the things that scare us.”I wrote this 12 months ago as I took a big leap.A leap that I had avoided and distracted myself from doing for YEARS!A...

read more

“Most people in the western world have two or three relationships in their lifetime.  Some people have all those relationships with the same person.”  Ester Perel. Long-term relating is a journey.There are many twists and turns along the way.As we get older, we often get wiser or at least less...

read more
Orgasm …you are so elusive…or are you??

Orgasm …you are so elusive…or are you??

A lot of people struggle with orgasm.    Many wonder if they have ever experienced one at all.   Others express disappointment that what they have experienced - hasn’t felt like much.  They often think they are the only one with this struggle or begin to wonder if there is something wrong with...

read more
When was the last time you were truly still?

When was the last time you were truly still?

A place of deep conscious relaxation.  Where you stopped doing and noticed. Where you could just be.  Pause for a moment and see if you can remember. Was it today, yesterday, last week?  Last year! Sometimes we are going so fast all the time we don’t even notice we have lost our capacity for...

read more
What is Sexological Bodyworker and Sex Coaching?

What is Sexological Bodyworker and Sex Coaching?

So….what actually is Sexological Bodywork and Sex Coaching? This is one of the most common questions I get asked when people are considering working with me. I love it because it’s a great question and let’s face it….it can sound like a pretty wacky thing to do! It can also feel a bit scary and...

read more

PODCAST Save My Marriage: Intimacy Session

Everyone benefits from sex coaching because it resonates into all that you feel, express and do! I was recently asked by the B105 morning show to record a live session with Cam and Frankie as part of their journey to Save My Marriage.  After my initial uncertainty about how on earth that would...

read more
Is stress ripping you off from great sex?

Is stress ripping you off from great sex?

Stress kills sex. Simple and true. It is one of our greatest challenges and biggest turn offs. It shows up in many different forms and is often a self-perpetuating cycle. Each lap around, further eroding our vitality and confidence. Things like low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature...

read more
What I have been up to!

What I have been up to!

This has been such a huge month for me,  with the roll out of my first residential retreat - Transform.  It was a massive undertaking and incredible journey for everyone involved.  I am still landing tbh!  Absolutely mind blowing.    What an incredible week.  Seven bold, brave women on...

read more
Is Shame of Fear choosing you?

Is Shame of Fear choosing you?

Shame and fear are the two biggest obstacles confronting people around sex, intimacy and pleasure.  They are invisible and sneaky.  They often come disguised as… I don’t have enough time.  Sex is not important. Yeah, I will get to that later.  They might come packaged with struggling...

read more
Life’s Greatest Oxymoron – Sex and Parenting

Life’s Greatest Oxymoron – Sex and Parenting

Sex and parenting – two of the most fundamentally mismatched and challenging combinations on this planet!  Would you agree?  I sometimes muse how the pleasurable source of our cherub’s creation, can become so elusive! Being the parent of four wonderful beings, I have had many an opportunity to...

read more
Paying Attention

Paying Attention

Paying Attention   Attention please... How long are you able to fully pay attention? 20 seconds, 40? More?  Maybe a few minutes. Most of us are so busy buzzing around, moving from one shining thing to the next.  Wanting more. Doing more. Seeking more.  We have lost our ability to be still and...

read more
Client Testimonial

Client Testimonial

A letter of appreciation from a client I am constantly humbled by the trust and integrity of the clients I get to work with.  To see their journey of moving from places of shame and stuckness to meeting challenges and reclaiming deep pleasure in their lives is an absolute privilege.   Here is a...

read more
The Sensuality of Presence

The Sensuality of Presence

Watching her took my breath away. She was full of beauty and moved with such ease. The subtle movement of body, her hips, her lips. Her gaze soft but so awaken. She loved the skin that adorned her body and pleasure radiated from every cell in her being. She met the eyes of others with purpose and...

read more
Letting Go of the Need to Orgasm

Letting Go of the Need to Orgasm

I have lost count of the number of articles, podcasts and books I have seen offering guaranteed pathways to mind blowing orgasm. Bigger, better, stronger, more expansive, deeper. They postulate a step by step approach to the ultimate. Or do they? What happens when we let go of the need to orgasm?...

read more
The Erotic Art of Knitting

The Erotic Art of Knitting

Winter is here!  Time to pull out our knitting needles and wool and begin to create! But before you decide that I am heading down some kinky tangent, think again.   This is a sharing in creating erotic charge and how the fundamentals of knitting have a whole lot to teach us about thriving in our...

read more
Summer Climax

Summer Climax

There is something about Summer that invites me to celebrate and enjoy my body more than any other time of the year.  In the heat, clothing is minimal and freedom delights in feeling the sun and humidity of my skin. Holidays creates the time to slow down, savour and celebrate. Company and...

read more
Slow Sex – The Power of Patience

Slow Sex – The Power of Patience

Do you ever feel your head spinning just with the pure pace of life and pressure to go harder…faster…give more?  Quick fixes, instant gratification…right here, right now.  Be more, give more, have more...where does it end…. where does it lead us? Sadly, this approach is permeating every part of...

read more

Recent Posts

Reclaiming Desire…. when attraction wanes

Reclaiming Desire…. when attraction wanes

One of the most challenging and common things I notice in my own relating and that of the people I work with, is how desire changes and often dissipates over time.
Most people in long-term relationships experience staleness and disconnect at some point in time.
It is almost inevitable and can make or break us.

Let me tell you how I have found my way back to the depths of desire in my 30 year relationship.

read more

Upcoming Events