Orgasm – Is there a hierarchy? What’s the truth about it?

by Susan Stark | Jul 5, 2021 | Somatic Sex & Intimacy

The hierarchy of orgasm is a myth and quite frankly, it is ripping us off.
I hear versions of this all the time.
It is constantly perpetuated in media and porn and abounds in the myths and sexual scripts we are conditioned to believe.
Even some sex educators are coaching people to have “better or more quality types of orgasm”
I think this is unhelpful and untrue.
Sure, different parts of the body create different sensations and we can deepen or expand them…or not.
Sometimes quite honestly, I am happy with a short subtle orgasm.
It rich and beauty-full in its own right and not to be diluted or dismissed in search of something grander.
Other times I will seek and intentional cultivate a deeper more expansive experience.
It is often a matter of time, mood and intention.
To perpetuate an idea that one type of orgasm outweighs the other is IMO frankly untrue and unhelpful and buys into a patriarchal mindset.
It leads to people feeling like they are less than, not good enough and unskilled.
It fosters a mistruth that real sex needs to result in a climax that looks and feels a certain way and if this doesn’t happen we are frustrated, disappointed and ashamed.
The truth is…people are profiting from the creation of this idea.
Magazines sell. Movies abound with sex scenes built on falsehoods. Porn is all about the hype.
All orgasms are beautiful.
There are peak climaxes, subtle edges and twists and turns.
Orgasms are as varied as there are human beings on the planet.
The truth is….there is no hierarchy of orgasm.
Just a full spectrum of possibilities and invitations to discover.
This is the essence of living an orgasmic life.
Love your body.
Get to know it deeply and it will take you to places never charted in the hierarchical paradigm of good, better, best

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