Stress kills sex.
Simple and true.
It is one of our greatest challenges and biggest turn offs.
It shows up in many different forms and is often a self-perpetuating cycle.
Each lap around, further eroding our vitality and confidence.
Things like low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and generally feeling less than great about our bodies…can all be linked to stress.
When we are stressed, our sympathetic nervous system responds.
We move into a state of protecting ourselves and our capacity to connect with others is vastly diminished.
We might avoid, get cranky, push away or shut down.
When we are constantly pushed for time, have too many responsibilities or feel in conflict with others, our nervous system takes care of us.
We survive rather than thrive.
That is what we are wired to do.
As vital as this is for surviving stress, it is not the place where great sex happens.
And the sad part is, that the more we do this, the more it is wired into our nervous system and impacting our experiences.
So, what do we need to do?
When we are constantly stressed the idea of being still, present and touching another human is often far from what our body is capable of doing.
It is also not particularly helpful to try and think our way out of this place.
We need to start working with our bodies if we really want to create change.
Going slowly, gently and consciously in this space is really important.
We need to be able to connect, stay present and feel sensation for sex to be enjoyable.
Going from zero to a hundred in pursuit of what we desire, is counterproductive.
Small progressive steps starting with learning how to calm our stress response, build our window of tolerance to be in the present moment and begin to re-member our capacity to feel sensation and relaxed pleasure, are all foundational places to begin.
With repetition, practice and slowing things down, performance and the impact of stress slips away and our ability to enjoy and feel abundantly sensual returns.
How is stress impacting on your experiences of sex and intimacy?
Let me show how to reclaim joyful sexual pleasure and connection in your life through my sessions, workshop and online offerings.
