When it comes to sex and intimacy, how much do you give to others out of obligation?
How much are you tolerating to keep someone else happy?
And, what are you doing simply because someone else expects you to?
Keeping the peace.
Creating ease for them.
Never rocking the boat.
Sound familiar?
Maybe there are other parts of your life where you would never dream to be so obliging and compliant.
I know plenty of strong minded, empowered people, who are able to find their voice
at work but when it comes to sex.….everything is different.
They ignore their inner no, their boredom, their… oh god no not that again…
And do the same thing day in, day out.
Holding on to a belief that maybe, it is just easier this way.
Maybe the cost of saying no feels like too great a risk.
Or maybe they don’t believe anything else is possible.
I wonder however, what price they pay for ignoring their own boundaries.
Ignoring their own desires and needs.
Going along and tolerating all in the name of relationship.
The price of giving from an empty obligation is high.
It costs a lot.
It leads to resentment and numbness.
Shut down.
Turning off and tuning out.
After all, that is what is needed to endure.
And before we know it libido has gone south for the winter and we no longer can even name what we want.
How often are you engaging in sex that you are not really into?
Giving back to someone or doing something that leaves you feeling yuck, bore and frustrated.
That is not what good sex is all about.
The pathway to having higher quality sexual experiences starts with knowing how to
say no to things that you are not willing to do.
Being able to feel for what you are willing to give with a full heart and not over riding or minimising yourself.
Ever.
Otherwise, we enter the non-consensual land of tolerating, going along and inevitably missing an opportunity to make sex
even better.
Our ability to slow down, notice and communicate to others what we are not able to
give, is a gift and invitation into exploring what else might be possible.
When people are in authentic consent, giving and receiving what they want and are
willing to do, sex become so much more pleasurable.
How often are you tolerating, going along or giving from a place of obligation?
What makes it so hard for you to say no?
Learning foundational embodiment skills of knowing what we want, honouring,
trusting that and be skilful communicators changes everything.
Do you have these skills and awareness?
If not, now is the time to build a foundation on which to grow and explore a life time
of empowered pleasure.
Book a free connection and clarity call or come along to free event and workshop
and begin reclaiming your empowered pleasure.
