May is Masturbation Month, believe it or not, and for many people across the globe, a time to invest in cultivating their sexual skills and erotic awareness through self-pleasure.
Over the month of May I have been running my annual 31-day self-pleasure challenge with a group of enthusiastic erotic explorers.
They have received daily tips and challenges to support them to connect with embodied pleasure each and every day!
Some are still as committed as when they started and happily showing up for themselves each and every day.
Others have lost their momentum or never really got started!
Ah…such is the journey of claiming pleasure in amongst the demands of everyday life.
A skill in itself!
No matter how committed we are to claiming pleasure in our lives, we all get distracted or deprioritise it at some time.
In my own journey of claiming pleasure in my life with an intention to continually grow, discover and expand into what more is possible, I have noticed three key things that really impact along the way.
These things often get in the way of many people as they try to make time for themselves and pleasure.
I am sure there are many more to add to this list, but here are my top three to get you started.
Number One – Do you prioritise pleasure?
Do you intentionally make space in your everyday simply to connect with your body and pleasure?
Many of us have been led to believe that pleasure is an indulgence. Something extra on the side that we get to if there is time and space.
Problem is, most of us lead busy lives and pleasure can easily slip to the side lines.
If we wait for the perfect time and space…we may be waiting a very long time!
I wonder what happens when we actually prioritise pleasure over other things, and make it the powerhouse from which we draw energy, creativity and joyfulness.
I know when I do this, everything flows so much easier and life becomes abundant.
It becomes a source from which I thrive rather than something I tack on as an extra.
Number Two – Are you waiting to feel sexy before you getting sexy?
Many of us are far more responsive than spontaneous in our desire and arousal.
We need to do before we feel.
We need to start touching, moving, breathing…before our juiciness flows and we start feeling the pleasure available to us.
This is a healthy, normal and wonderful arousal style and important to honour and embrace.
Sometimes we need to wake up sensation, begin shifting the numbness and reconnect with our sensual self before pleasure flows.
Be patient. Be kind. And most of all know that with a little time and tenderness your sexy will re-emerge.
Luscious and Wonder-full.
Number Three – The three foes of comparison, judgement and perfection.
Yes, this threesome cut so many of us from really owning our unique pleasure.
We compare ourselves with others.
Judge what we are feeling, noticing or enjoy.
And set the bar way too high. Often by someone else’s standard.
Notice if your mind begins to deliver unhelpful stories rooted in these underlying messages.
Refocus and honour your unique journey.
What else might be getting in the way of you and pleasure? Take time to ponder and work out how you might work with these things in a useful way.
Our pleasure is our responsibility and making space to be with our own bodies and know what we enjoy is such a gift to not only our own lives, but to our lovers.
