If I was to describe what I do in as few words as possible, it would be this.

I help people feel.

Yes, decades of diving into trainings, personal development and practice, summed up in a few little words.

At its essence however, pure and simple, this is what I do. 

I help people feel.

Whether it’s building an ability to get out of their heads and present to the sensations of their bodies.

Or gently, slowly digesting the stuckness and survival patterns created by trauma.

Or cultivating a bandwidth to fully bear pleasure without shutting down or relying on another. 

At its core, it is all about our ability to slow down, notice and feel.

Sounds simple and yes, it often is. 

But not always easy.

Many things stand in our way of truly feeling our bodies and life.

For many disconnecting from their body was a necessary part of survival.  They needed to stop feeling in order to get through that violation, abuse or stress.

Problem is, they got so much practice at it, that now they are now numb and can’t find their pathway back.

Others are so indoctrinated in the falsity of agenda-ed and performance type sex, that feeling their own body and sensation becomes secondary, or not at all.

Sadly, this is the norm in our culture and without seeking an alternative, many people don’t know what else to do outside of these sexual scripts.

They are insidious and everywhere, and essentially leave us with a very narrow experience of sex and intimacy.   

In the process of it all, we are cheated of the sheer beauty and magic of pleasure. 

Something that, I believe, we are all capable of feeling.

Many people fear or resist feeling deeply, because it seems overwhelming or makes us vulnerable.

Many simply don’t know how.

A client recently shared with me a confusion about what they were noticing.  

Were they in the mind, body or somewhere else?

They often get stuck in thoughts.

Emotions jumped in from time to time.

But feeling their body and the sensations that were there was a brand-new-thing.

It makes total sense to me.

Our world is geared toward thinking our way into and through life.

Our cognitions are our most used resource and we rely on them for most, if not all of life’s navigation.

One of the first things I do when working with someone new is invite them to get curious about sensations in their body as this is the essence of feeling.

For many, this is really weird and hard.  

They will often begin by saying things like I feel relaxed or up tight.

This is helpful but not really feeling the sensations of these states.

So…. we stay curious and keep exploring and noticing.

We might bring some movement or notice places of openness and contraction.

We might pay attention to temperatures of warmth and coolness.

Or notice our weightiness on the ground and furniture.  

There are no right or wrong ways of connecting to our bodies.

We just need a good dose of curiosity and willingness to slow down, play and notice.

When we begin to build this relationship and familiarity with the body, change and expansion becomes possible.

One of the most favourite places I love inviting client into is the ability to be with, own and feel their own expansive pleasure.

People are often so habituated and reliant on another person in order to feel sexual desire and pleasure.

They want to touch, caress, fuck and lie beside another human being.

This is all magical and beautiful but I wonder what happens when they begin to hold this pleasure and feel it in their own bodies purely for themselves.

To play with it within their own skin.

To savour it with their breath, movement and sounds.

This is sexual sovereignty and a necessary powerhouse if we are to truly live an orgasmic life.

When we can cultivate and stay present to our own pleasure, we can begin to tap into the most vibrant, creative and deeply orgasmic parts of ourselves.

My wish is that everyone could feel to this expansive depth.

To know and trust this pathway in their bodies.

To feel safe enough to grow further into it each day.

To feel and be in the fullness of their bodies and life.

I believe this is possible for every human being and delight in supporting people to find their own unique pathway to it.

And it all begins with learning to feel.   

 

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