I love hitting the gym. Love working out; meeting my body right where it’s at. Feeling the depth of my muscles, their power and potential. Searching for every sinew, every tendon and the pulse within them. I love softening, stretching and finding my breath. I love seeking my edges and then pushing beyond. Just me … and my body. It’s orgasmic, life affirming and just plain delicious. I exercise like this in one form or another almost daily. Running the bush tracks, swimming or classes. It feeds me, strengthens me and allows me to let go. I know I am certainly not alone in this and have many friends who share this passion. But how many of us give the same attention to our sexual fitness and erotic health?
I sometimes ponder how we can invest so much time and energy into ensuring our physical wellbeing with exercise, nutrition and lifestyle, but when it comes to our sexuality we just expect it to be there when we want, fighting fit and rearing to go. We invest little thought and time in cultivating our sexual energy and sensuality yet feel such grief when it is not present in our life in the way that we would really like to it be. I wonder how different our whole life would be if we were to begin to invest our time, thought and commitment to our sexual fitness and wealth. Imagine…what would this look like for you if you were at your peak?
I invite you to take a moment and think about how you spend your time and what you actually invest in your sexual self. What sort of things do you do to connect with your body and sensuality? How often do you do these things? How do you feel about yourself as a sexual erotic being? How might you like this to be different?
Maybe you are investing some effort but would like to ramp it up a bit more. Maybe you are doing nothing at all and feel quite absent and shut down. Wherever you are at here are some great ways to kick start or further deepen your sexual sensual self. Approach it with curiosity and fun and have lots of compassion and understanding for yourself. You might like to go solo or adopt a training buddy or two. Whatever your approach, delight in your body and its uniqueness.
TIPS FOR SEXUAL FITNESS:
· Commitment to regular practice. We don’t get strong and healthy by looking at the treadmill, we need to get on it! And not just once or twice! Like anything to create change we need to practice consistently and really make a commitment to doing this. Of course, life is not always simple and time can be hard to find, but a commitment to creating space and devoting energy to yourself is vital. One thing I find super helpful is rather than carving out a strict training plan, I like to set an intention. Intentions can be really broad and essentially create a container for things to unfold in lots of unexpected yummy ways. Intentions also support us to just have a go, get started and not get stuck on things being a certain way. Take some time to feel into what your overall intention is and find a way to remind yourself of it regularly.
· Variety is the spice of life. Curiosity and trying new things keeps life interesting and our experiences growing. Doing the same work out day in day out is boring and we can loose interest and motivation. It is important to try new things, explore, experiment and see what you are capable of. Do some research, get new ideas and begin to explore them either on your own or in partnership with others. Those who work with me know my passion for mindful erotic practice – a regular, solo commitment to self pleasure and exploration. This is a great foundation to deepen your understanding of yourself and explore every aspect of your erotism. The only limitation is your own creativity and willingness.
· Finding your edges. My favourite place to be – at the edge. This is the place of most growth and learning and a diving board of so many possibilities. The edge is not the place of feeling unchallenged or comfortable nor is it the place of overwhelm and shut down. The edge we are seeking is a place of resilience and resistance. It is the place where we are pushed beyond our familiar to new ground. Finding this place allows us to continually grow and deepen. Never upping your weights in your training schedule means you will plateau and never grow stronger. Alternatively taking on a 30 km marathon without ever running a step is going to lead to disaster and overwhelm. Find your edges and be willing to explore this space.
· Get a Personal Trainer! Working with a coach can be super fun and like a regular PT session give you a whole lot of new things to play with and explore. Coaches will help you find your edges and support you to expand beyond them. They will help you identify your goals and pathways to achieving them. Coaches also help us become aware of limiting beliefs and anything that might be holding us back.
Investment in our sexual fitness will deeply feed every single aspect of our lives. Our purpose and passions, our finances and career, our relationships and creativity. It is the source of our vitality and everything we do will hugely benefit from any investment we take the time to create. Happy fitness!
