Truth is a “spot” doesn’t really exist.
It is more like a zone and is really not a separate, stand-alone part of our anatomy.
The urethral sponge is located on the roof or upper side of the vaginal canal and its size and
shape is as unique as the people who own one.
For some people it is a very small area, for others it stretches from outside the vaginal
opening right back to meet the cervix (hello other juicy bit!)
Truth is, it is a part of the clitoral network and when we touch it, we are actually stimulating
the internal back part of the clitoris.
Yes, that’s right, the clitoris too, has been so misunderstood and is actually a whole
underground network of deliciousness. But let’s save that for another time.
Just know, if you are exploring your body, stop looking for a ‘spot’ per se and trust your own
perfect design.
Your urethral sponge maybe long and narrow or short and focused. All is healthy and
normal and a wonderful part of you.
There may be parts of the urethral sponge that are more sensitive so stay curious.
To map your urethral sponge, use your finger tips or a wand / dildo in a “come here” type of
stroke, allow your hips to rock and see if you can get a sense this spongey area of tissue
that changes as you become more aroused.
You may need to manoeuvre yourself and explore different positions. Lying on your back
can be a bit tricky to get a full felt sense of this area. Give yourself privacy and time.
Exploring your own genitals is a great investment in getting to know these hidden parts of
you.
To G or not to G, that is the question many pleasure-seeking people are currently grappling
with.
Armed with internet informed know how, we prod, poke and press and are often left
wondering if anatomically let alone orgasmically, the G-spot even exists.
We go in agenda-ed and believe that female pleasure can be escalated if only we can find
that dam thing!
Lovers seek this ultimate ‘pleasure point’ in the hope that it will please and raise the bar on
their reputation of orgasmic awesomeness.
Others, are left pondering what all the hype is about….
So, let’s get curious together and see if we can discover what is actually true?
One of the most challenging and frustrating things for vulva owning people, is the delay, lack
and conflicting information and solid research about our pleasure.
Yep, the gender bias is still alive and well when it comes to women’s bodies, and we are
often left short of quality information and guidance on which to base our explorations.
Focus often centres on fertility and menstruation (which is great, but also limited) with
pleasure and arousal sidelined in the ‘too complex’ or ‘not that interesting’ basket.
At least we have moved past the days of diagnosing women’s sexual desire as a symptom
of Female Hysteria, but sadly the seeds of these times linger and we are often left to work it
out our own way.
So, let’s do that.
Here is what I have found to be true and by no means offers a complete to do list, but rather,
a reflection of my own journey of G-spot unravelling and what I have discovered.
So, let’s begin.
Number one – let’s ditch that bloody name!
Do you know how many parts of our genitals are named after dead white men?!
Heaps!
The G-spot is a great example and was named after German gynaecologist, Ernest
Grafenberg who ‘discovered’ this juicy part.
I wonder what women did without such helpful patriarchal organising. Hmmm…
My beloved teacher Jane Hardwicke-Collings ran an awesome campaign last year making
people aware of this often unknown fact. She invited vulva owners everywhere to rename
their bits!
It was fantastic.
Liberation begins with owning our bodies, our pleasure and finding true meaningful names to
give our most luscious body parts.
Too much has been taken from us already.
Pleasure is but one.
So, find your words and honour what name works best for you.
I use urethral sponge to describe this area but please feel free to insert whatever word
resonates most for you.
It’s your body.
Number two – Reframing the spot idea
Truth is a “spot” doesn’t really exist.
It is more like a zone and is really not a separate, stand-alone part of our anatomy.
The urethral sponge is located on the roof or upper side of the vaginal canal and its size and
shape is as unique as the people who own one.
For some people it is a very small area, for others it stretches from outside the vaginal
opening right back to meet the cervix (hello other juicy bit!)
Truth is, it is a part of the clitoral network and when we touch it, we are actually stimulating
the internal back part of the clitoris.
Yes, that’s right, the clitoris too, has been so misunderstood and is actually a whole
underground network of deliciousness. But let’s save that for another time.
Just know, if you are exploring your body, stop looking for a ‘spot’ per se and trust your own
perfect design.
Your urethral sponge maybe long and narrow or short and focused. All is healthy and
normal and a wonderful part of you.
There may be parts of the urethral sponge that are more sensitive so stay curious.
To map your urethral sponge, use your finger tips or a wand / dildo in a “come here” type of
stroke, allow your hips to rock and see if you can get a sense this spongey area of tissue
that changes as you become more aroused.
You may need to manoeuvre yourself and explore different positions. Lying on your back
can be a bit tricky to get a full felt sense of this area. Give yourself privacy and time.
Exploring your own genitals is a great investment in getting to know these hidden parts of
you.
Number three – Yep, we ejaculate too!
For aeons women and vulva owning folk have been told that it is not possible for all of us to
ejaculate, and explanations for our squirting ranged between porn hype or simply peeing
ourselves.
Sigh.
Truth is, stimulation of the urethral sponge can result in ejaculate being projected via the
paraurethral glands.
These are tiny openings around the urethra that secrete fluid when we become highly
aroused. This liquid is more vicious that other genital fluids, often with a musky scent.
It is not wee but rather our own precious juice.
The glorious truth about our bodies is that stimulation of the urethral sponge invites arousal
and as blood fills the erectile tissue surrounding the urethra these glands swell and make it
tricky for us to urinate during this delicious trajectory.
Ejaculation through stimulation of the urethral sponge, can be achieved with a slight bearing
down of the pelvic floor. This can feel quite different to other orgasms we may have.
In tantra and ancient traditions this liquid is sometimes known as Amrita and is seen as a
precious elixir to be cherished and savoured.
Sometimes it is a gentle dribble. Sometimes a replenishing gush creating puddles on the
floor or sheets. Everyone is different.
Some vulva owning folk don’t experience ejaculation at all and simply savour the sensations
available.
Whatever is true for you, please let go of the myth that women don’t ejaculate and open to
the possibility, staying curious to discover what is true for you.
Number four – Finding our unique key to pleasure
The key to pleasure is knowing and honouring your own body and desires.
For some people the urethral sponge brings an abundance of pleasure. For others it is not
that interesting at all.
There is no right or wrong here.
It is more about knowing, loving and celebrating what sensations you enjoy or are curious
about.
Never feel like you have to explore things like this, or that something is wrong with you if
exploration of ejaculation and your urethral sponge is not your thing.
We spend way too much time tolerating or going along with others.
If the only take away you get from reading this, is some accurate information and an
appreciation of the uniqueness of you – then I am happy.
Remember, your body, your choice, your pleasure. Own it.
