Winter is here! Time to pull out our knitting needles and wool and begin to create!
But before you decide that I am heading down some kinky tangent, think again. This is a sharing in creating erotic charge and how the fundamentals of knitting have a whole lot to teach us about thriving in our erotic expression.
Curious?
Indeed.
Granny in fact, had this all sussed out as she sat rocking in her chair by the fire. Don’t be fooled by her innocent demur.
Good knitters…. know their stuff.
It is all about tension.
Knit too tightly and that gorgeous jumper becomes way too tight. Restrictive and suffocating. Not allowing any space for growth and expansion.
Knit too loosely and the whole thing falls apart. Unravelling and incapable of containing us.
The key is finding just the right tension. Not too tight. Not too loose. Just right.
Eroticism thrives with just-right-tension.
I once watched a friend totally dismantle the most gorgeous green jumper she had spent days knitting. Her tension was too tight. The jumper, too small. I couldn’t believe my eyes as piece by piece she pulled it apart.
Wise woman.
She knew that persisting would only lead to disappointment, frustration and something she could not wear.
Time and again I am privileged to hear couples open their hearts and share their stories.
They love each other. Deeply.
They create and share beautiful intimacy.
They touch each other frequently.
They feel safe and trust unconditionally.
And… there is no sex.
They are bored. Confused.
Disillusioned and frustrated they begin to search.
What’s wrong with us? We are doing everything possible to create intimacy and trust.
We love each other.
But alas…. desire has slipped away.
Spaciousness births desire.
Longing builds hunger.
Too close, snuffs out passion. Too far, creates a distant divide that becomes difficult to integrate.
The flames of eroticism are fuelled by letting go, creating space and allowing desire to burn.
A scary place for some as we are often conditioned to believe that holding on tightly gives us what we need. That intimacy and closeness automatically fuels great sex and passion.
But desire is a slippery ally.
For many, it does not respond well to the demands of intimacy.
This can be a tricky path to tread and to become skilled knitters, we must be willing to meet our creative edge.
In this place of letting go, we may keep company with fear, insecurity, unpredictability and uncertainty.
We may be invited to sit with feelings of abandonment and aloneness.
I invite your curiosity and exploration.
Notice what fuels your desire. Where closeness feels suffocating and distance builds excitement.
Create spaciousness for longing to show up.
And be willing to let go.
If you touch a lot. Touch less.
If your whole life is each other. Be apart.
If you lack independence and autonomy. Give each other space.
Breath in….and out.
And notice.
Enjoy the warmth of your fire as you find your own unique knitting rhythm.
Who knows what complicated patterns you might tackle this winter!
Enjoy.
