Simplicity is foundational to sensual pleasure and discovery.
We often believe we need to add more, learn more and be more in our search for better sex.
But the truth is… Less is often far more.
I learnt this the hard way.
As a lover of learning, I buy so many books, go to plenty of workshops and am constantly seeking new experiences and growth.
I have read heaps, learnt lots of techniques and love a great sex focused podcast.
But in the process of learning all this good stuff, I noticed for a long time, how pleasure often plateaued or fell short of what I desired.
As I focused on ‘getting it right’ and learning a bunch of great moves, pleasure slipped out the side door.
Sigh…
I see this same approach with many of the clients I work with.
They have listened to heaps of podcasts, read widely and watched the latest great series on sex.
All these things are wonderful and useful, but they often still leave people floundering when it comes to actually having great experiences of pleasure.
What I realised in my own efforts, is that there are some foundational things that need to be happening first and simplicity is one of them.
Simplicity to me, is a cornerstone to creating depth in our experiences.
Without it, we are often going too fast, too soon and not ever embodying the great learning we have sought out.
When we slow down, focus and begin to really be present to the here and now, we open ourselves to more pleasure and connection.
Keeping things simple invites, us to focus on one thing at a time and feel more deeply into our experiences and sensations.
We hone our awareness, and become available to discoveries and expansion.
These things are not available to us if we are following a script of performance and striving to create pleasure for another with our new best trick.
Sometimes, I liken learning good sex to building a house.
Imagine building a house without a solid foundation.
Without the preparation and footings that ensures the house doesn’t topple over in the next gust of wind.
These foundations can seem invisible but are important key elements of constructing a strong house that lasts a lifetime.
People often go hunting, seeking and grasping for new ideas or techniques in their endeavour to create better sexual experiences.
They look for new strokes or fancy moves when in fact, slowing down, growing our ability to stay present and letting go of performance are the biggest investment they can make.
Keeping it all very simple.
From this place joyful connecting sex begins.