I am in between at the moment.
In between what I know to be true and what is emerging.
I am living in the liminal space that exists between dissolution and becoming.
A place where ground falls away and I feel the sweeping, ravishing winds of change.
They are untamed and bring a necessary dissolution of wild fire intensity.
It is a burning of sorts.
One that culls the dead wood making space for the new growth at the change of season.
It is dark here, and shadowy.
Uncomfortable and demanding.
There is reckoning and rupture.
And yet, I intentionally, willingly surrender myself and go.
I have made many such descents in my life, however this one has it own particular flavour.
It is seductive and smooth and brings a salivation to my lips.
Its allure is enticing and it orgasms crack open my heart.
It is terrifying and chaotic, and full of primal passion.
It is the wild abyss that shakes me loose from conformity and containment.
It is ruthlessness and demands my softening and surrender.
I can not think my way through its gateways, as to do so only entangles me more.
Here, at the heart of the darkness I come undone.
Opening my body to more.
I have been riding these waves for weeks now.
Disintegrating into the decaying compost of what no longer serves.
This is the dark erotic.
The shadowy mysteries that in the busyness of Summer, are hard to find.
Here, in the underground, lies the subtle and forbidden.
Eve’s apple and untold truths.
The unspeakable and shame ladened.
All that has been push down and under.
There is a freedom here too, as the outer layers peel away and I dive deeply in murky unknown depths.
A place of re-membering and discovery.
“The dark eros is not merely about violence or infliction of pain. It is the mysterious and often terrifying pull of desire toward what we do not fully understand. It involves the paradox of pleasure and suffering intertwined, as if the human soul cannot know itself fully without embracing the shadows of its own instincts, fears, and longings. This pull toward the darkness is a form of initiation, a journey through the forbidden, that reveals something essential about our humanity.” Thomas Moore
Now is the season of darkness.
An invitation to quietening, slowing down and becoming still.
To shed the doing and to listen deeply.
A time of hibernation and sinking down through our roots.
A time of reflection and dreaming.
Of imagination, wondering and pause.
The tones are subtle here, and under currents deep.
Over and over, we are invited to meet our shadows and trust the dark.
For some, this is terrifying and unfamiliar.
For others, it is a welcome relief.
Some of us go willing when the mystery calls.
Others resist and are taken.
However, you journey the dark erotic has many gifts.
Questions for you to ponder…
· Can you slow down, make space and stay curious about the uncomfortable part of your erotic self? Can you be truthful with yourself and own your desires?
· Can you soften and surrender to not knowing and invite hidden parts of your sexual self to emerge? Parts that you are yet to fully know and honour?
· Can you trust the reckoning and meet the truthfulness of your erotic shadows?
· What would support you to stay curious and keep following these threads?
